THE HOLIDAYS- PART 2

As an avid people watcher, I actually like all the hustle and bustle of the holidays.  It's life out of the ordinary:  I see lots of grandparents visiting from out of town, kids are out of school, grocery store tables are stacked at the ends of the aisles with the traditional foods, so that you don't have to go around looking for every item yourself,  people are actually consulting grocery lists, even on their cell phones (especially men, who are calling their other halves, while standing in an aisle, to ask, "which one do I get?" This always brings a smile to my face!), gyms are half full, while retail stores are fuller, etc.  It's an interesting phenomenon every year, isn't it?  On the other hand, there are lots of  people, who are anything but merry.  They are trying to "pull it all off" in time, or even trying to pull it all off at all, because they are hurting or grieving.  You have to look really hard to see these people, because they usually have their "normal" masks on to blend in with everyone and everything.  They don't want to stand out, but, inside, they may be silently screaming or crying, saying, "Life isn't fair!"  The holidays are now dreaded and feared, whereas they used to be looked forward to with anticipation.  A wife or husband may now be a widow or widower; a parent may be a bereaved parent, a child who had a sibling may now be an only child- they are different, their world is different and the way society responds to them is different.  They may be asking themselves, "How can the world still be so jovial and full of light when the light in MY world has gone out?"  I remember this exact thing happening to me many, many years ago.  My husband was terribly hurt by a drunk driver, we were in a strange city, where we knew no one, and it was this time of year.  My two small children and I left the hospital and were in a state of shock.  At the hotel, there were Christmas carolers, brightly colored Christmas trees, and frivolity. What had just happened?  What do we do?  Will he be OK?  I can still see the scene of the carolers as if it was yesterday and still remember thinking, "How can this be?  How can all this happiness be all around us, when we've just had our world turn upside down?" Thank goodness for us, he came out of this 100%, but that's not to say that the scars, both physical and emotional, ever completely go away. My advice to anyone reading this is just be aware that not everyone is happy right now.  Open your hearts and minds to those who are in terrible pain.  Give them a long embrace, drop them a note or an email, call to check in- just relay to them, in one way or another, that you are thinking of them and that you care..........as busy as you might be, celebrating.