We’ve all been kids. Do you ever look back at those early, formative years and think, wistfully, how carefree life was? We played outside with friends, rode our bikes in the neighborhood, walked to and from school, etc. Do you also remember how easily we shared our feelings? If we liked someone, we told him/her. If we were sad, or if others hurt our feelings, we cried and then soon after, we were happy again. At least in the early years, we didn’t even THINK to or know HOW to suppress our feelings. It was really refreshing to be allowed to be so honest, altho, we didn’t realize it at the time. But if you’ve had kids or grandkids of your own, you’ve seen this phenomenon through their young eyes, also. Isn’t it wonderful to hear them talk so openly and honestly…..until late in elementary school when they start becoming self conscious?
As we get older, we become very protective of our feelings. It’s almost UNnatural to express the way we truly feel. Yet, when our loved ones are on their death beds, we want to, or try to, tell them how we feel about them. If they die suddenly or before we’ ve had a chance to tell them, we live with regrets and guilt the rest of our lives: “if only, if only, if only….” but then, it’s too late. The sad thing is we NEVER know when it WILL be too late! What are we waiting for?!
We get so caught up in our lives that we think there will always be time to be with our loved ones, or to tell them how we feel about them. We don’t make it a priority to be with them. This all came into play with my own life lately. As I’ve mentioned, I’ve had several family members struggling with health issues. Because none of my family lives locally, I’ve had to get on a plane to be with them. But you know what? I know that there is nowhere else I would rather be and nothing more important than being with them. And I tell them all the time I love them. For you, if it makes your loved ones uncomfortable that you are expressing yourself so honestly, it doesn’t matter! What matters is that you told them. We should never feel guilty for expressing our feelings. “Pride is such a waste of time! We are all human. We are allowed to be vulnerable, too. It is part of the process.” (from Jude, a dying man). How many people have had to live with the fact that they didn’t make the effort to tell their loved ones how they felt and then, when their loved ones died, their guilt turned toxic, as they battled, often for the rest of their lives, with, “I wish I had….”
Everyone dies. No one knows when. Say it now. It will bring you peace. No regrets.
Posts
