FIRSTS CAN BE TOUGH!

   Thanksgiving for my extended family this year is going to be different than ever before: 1) my sister is expecting 44 guests, which is stressful and chaotic enough (!) but, one by one, her kids and grandkids are coming down with the flu!  2) my parents will be by themselves for the very first time, because traveling is too taxing for them now.  Although they could care less (they say, "it's only one day, like New Year's Eve ), we, their kids, feel tremendous guilt;  3) I am hosting my ex-husband and his other family for the first time, so it should be an interesting experience for all;  4) one of my brothers is newly divorced, and is fortunate to be able to go to his daughter's house, out of town, but it will be weird and sad for him to be solo.  Lots of firsts for us.   Firsts can be very exciting and yet, they can also be very scary.  These are all examples of how loss does not only mean death, but the loss of how life used to be.  So many families will be experiencing "firsts," and not in a good way. They want to do things as they have always done them, but their situations and their lives have changed.  The familiar is now unfamiliar.  What traditions should they keep and which should they discard?  It can be so overwhelming.  How do people look forward when they can't help but look back and see what they've lost?  Why do the holidays seem to accentuate our losses?  Please stay tuned for my next blog.  In the meantime, try to have a joyous Thanksgiving, in the best way you know how.