So, we are knee deep in the holiday hoopla and it's probably really getting to alot of you, especially if you're grieving. Here are a few more suggestions to add to those I've already written:
1. Cry! Even if it makes others uncomfortable during this "happy holiday" season, just explain (or not!) that you really need to cry right now, even if it is the holidays! If this doesn't work for you, then just excuse yourself and go somewhere private where you feel safe to do so.
2. You may derive comfort from holding on to personal possessions of the deceased, such as clothing, jewelry, blankets, toys, etc. There is nothing wrong with this, no matter how much time has passed since the death! Do not let others tell you to dispose of these objects faster than you want to.
3. Hang a stocking and fill it with notes from everyone who loved this person. Someone can then read the memory notes out loud so that everyone can enjoy these special memories. Save them from year to year.
4. Start a holiday journal. The holidays really are a special time to savor what's important to us, so now might be a good time to write down what you are thinking and feeling. Each season, you can add to the journal, and look back at earlier entries to see what progress you have made toward healing.
5. "Be still.....Take time out from the holiday hustle and bustle for stillness. Still your body and your mind. Find a comfortable spot to sit and don't move. Turn off all distractions." Alan Wolfelt, Ph.D.
6. Pick and choose which events you really want to attend. Don't get overwhelmed by trying to do as much as you did before the loss. Being with others provides a great opportunity for you to be supported in your grief, to be able to talk, get hugs, or whatever else feels good to you, so you may want to say no to some, but say yes to others.
To summarize- BE GOOD TO YOU! TAKE CARE OF YOU!
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