Yes, it's that time of year again! What does this mean for you? Happiness? Stress? Anxiety? Anticipation? Sadness? All of the above?? I think what adds to all these feelings is the fact that holiday decorations and focus on buying gifts begins in September! Even before Halloween! I heard my first Christmas song on the radio just yesterday, a week before Thanksgiving and of course, Black Friday, is now ON Thanksgiving Day, for heaven's sakes!! OF COURSE, WE'RE STRESSED!
Well, I'm here to help try to alleviate some of that for you, compliments of Barbara Petsel, LPC. These are especially true for those of you who are, unfortunately, grieving at this time of year. It's not all tinsel and bright lights for you, is it? Let's see what we can do about that.
1. Focus on what is most important to you about the season. Is it the food, the social, religious aspects or something else? Don't try to do everything! Pick and choose! (Ex- holiday baking, wrapping gifts, cleaning the house, office or school parties, holiday cards, etc.)
2. Review past traditions and rituals and ask yourself, "Is this a want or a need? Do we do these things out of habit, tradition, free choice or obligation?"
3. Evaluate what you want to keep or change and then discuss this with your other family members. Maybe this is not the year to do things the way you've always done them, because it's too painful. That's OK. Maybe you'll go back to those next year. Maybe not. It's your choice.
4. Define your boundaries, no matter what others try to tell you you should do.
Only you know what feels safe for yourself.
5. Whenever you get anxious, imagine a place you once felt safe- the smells, sounds, feelings and sights.
6. Tell yourself, "I can do this!"
7. Remember this: you can only control your own decisions. You cannot control how other people REACT to your decisions!
8. Deep breathing lowers your pulse and decreases anxiety.
9. Don't blow off exercise or just walking. Self-care is so important.
10. Get rid of trying to make things perfect. Things are gonna happen! Laugh about it!
Last but not least, fill your tank up with as much self love and compassion as you possibly can. BE KIND TO YOURSELF!! Enjoy the holidays in ways that work for YOU!! You are your own best advocate!
You've cried at weddings, right? At the birth of a baby? And, of course, you've probably cried at funerals, but have you ever stopped to wonder why both happy and sad events, make you so emotional? Even worse, do you often feel like you're the only one? I will impart wisdom gleaned from professional conferences, seminars, books and articles and/or I will blog my personal thoughts. Either way, I hope you check in often, so you know that your tears are never shed in a vacuum!
Sunday, November 18, 2012
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About Me
- Ms. Baby Boomer-dang
- Dallas, TX, United States
- I am an educator and consultant, in the field of loss and grief. I love educating others, as well as learning from them, about life's little and big, happy and sad losses: marriage, divorce, moving away, losing one's health, aging gracefully.....or not......death of a loved one, a pet, a dream, children growing up and parents having to let go, etc. etc. Hopefully, you get the picture. Let's laugh, cry and learn together!
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