THE FLIP SIDE OF LOVE

I'm a people watcher.  Actually, I study people more than merely watch them.  One thing I love studying is the cycle of love. Watch couples as they fall in love and can't keep their eyes, or hands, off each other......their eyes lock with one another, they lean in, so as to capture every little word the other is saying.....they giggle at inside jokes, etc. Pretty awesome!  Next level: engagement.  The man gets the spotlight on him, albeit INDIRECTLY, for a brief shining moment with:  "How did he propose?  Did he get down on one knee?  Let me see the ring!"  Then, all too quickly, the light dims on him and shines brightly on his fiance. Just moving up from "girlfriend" to "fiance" is HUGE! From every direction, come hundreds of questions and concerns about the upcoming wedding.  The couple are still "stuck" on each other and look forward to their future with much anticipation, but the courtship takes a backseat to THE day!  The man may be "consulted" on (some) decisions, but he's not the head honcho anymore.  Next level: the big day.  Of course, all eyes are on the bride.  (I've always felt sorry for the groom on his wedding day, because just as is in ballroom dancing, he is there to be the frame for his bride, who is the picture).  He can't get his eyes, or his hands, off his new wife, for all the world to see.  A beautiful sight, indeed!  He tears up as he glimpses her in her wedding gown, slowly walking down the aisle.  They have never loved each other more than they do at this very moment!   They cannot wait to start their lives together!  They have so many hopes and dreams.  Next level: post wedding, post honeymoon, reality.  A happy couple- yes- but also a couple who are separate now.  No hanging on each other, as one.  In fact, at parties, the woman usually talks with the women and the man, with the men, often, not even in the same room.  They are definitely more relaxed with one another- comfort is a good thing- but sadly, that high intensity passion and yearning are not as obvious.  It's probably still there at home, but I'm talking about the public domain.  Things are different.  They're married!  OK.  Let's move on down the road, at least, 9 months down the road.  The focus changes dramatically again.  During the woman's pregnancy, the entire focus is on her.  She's the one with all the baby showers, the cute maternity clothes, the "glow!"  Once the baby is born, the focus is not only off the couple, but it's off her, as well!  Nine months of attention and poof!  It's gone!  Baby is #1!  No more gazing into each other's eyes, since neither one seems to be able to even keep their eyes open long enough to do so!  Sleep deprivation leads to temporary insanity!  Their new job is one for which neither one has had any experience or training, and yet, one for which they've signed up for life!  How to do it!  Where to begin? Is this poor little thing REALLY depending on US, who know nothing about anything????  HELP!!!
  What sparked this article was a family wedding I attended this past weekend.  I, the student, was back in the classroom of human behavior, my favorite place to be!  As I observed this young bride and groom exchanging vows, I couldn't help but hope that they always be as in love and attentive to one another as they were that wonderful summer night when they professed their love in front of all their family and friends.   Love and life, weddings and babies- happy, sad tears.

I'M BAAACK!!!!

Lo siento!!  My apologies for being gone for so long!  I will try and write on a more regular basis from now on.  The summer, somehow, got away from me!  Maybe I just melted away in this unbearable, never ending heat!  Whatever happened, I'm back and I hope that you are, too!
   I heard this wonderful quote on yesterday's news from the retiring Steve Jobs.  How sad that his health is forcing him to leave that which he invested his heart and soul for so long!  He gave this quote at a commencement address not too long ago:
"Remembering that we are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose."