HELP!

Have you ever caught yourself saying to a griever or heard others say to you, "Wow.  You are handling this so well!"  Unfortunately, this may be far from the truth!  Grievers often put up these fronts for two reasons:
1) admitting that they need help makes them feel too vulnerable and/or
2) if they did fall apart in front of others, the "others" might become very uncomfortable and not know what to do!  Think about it:  Grievers put up a front to make OTHERS feel more comfortable, when they are the ones who are grieving!  How bassackwards is that??  If grievers really do want help, then they cannot put out these false signals that they are doing well, thank you very much!  If they do, indeed, want help, then they need to ask for it.  They are then doing others a favor by giving them a practical, tangible way to reach out to them, the grievers.  This is best illustrated in Pooh's Little Instruction Book by Milne and Shephard:
"You can't stay in your corner of the forest waiting for others to come to you.  You have to go to them sometimes."