LEAVE THE DRIVING TO US!

    I think this was the slogan many years ago for Greyhound Bus Lines.  And that’s how comfortable I feel using a service that caters to transitioning seniors from one location to another.  The one that my family will be using is www.stsnostress.com.  Sts stands for senior transition specialists.  When I talked to Karen, the woman in charge, she said that they handle everything as if it was the adult kids doing the work.  They do everything “with love,” because they are a team of women who know how to talk to and deal with seniors who are going through this difficult period of life.  (One example is that she said don’t ever tell them that they can’t take something.  Let it be their idea as to what they’re taking or not taking!)  They can be the objective ones when the adult kids might get bogged down with emotions and relationships.  Not only do they pack up everything, but they unpack everything on the other end.  She said that when the seniors move into their new place, there is not a box or piece of tape to be seen!  It’s ready to be lived in!!  I will have more to say about the whole process once it’s placed in action, but for now, my siblings and I feel relief just knowing all that they do.  They have already gone out to my parents’ home, sized up the situation and met my folks.  Everyone liked each other, so that’s good!

    Now, for the emotional part of the equation.  It’s difficult seeing my take charge, perfectionistic, routine oriented WW II Vet Dad be on the receiving end, being advised what will be happening, how and when.  Thank goodness, he’s still 95% mentally intact ( ever so slight memory loss), so he’s still who he is, but it’s just weird having us kids calling the shots now.

   But allow me to tell you a little about my Dad.  He LOVES technology!!  He skypes (every Sunday with me), texts (on his iphone), has an ipad and computer (where he’s on Facebook!)  He had all of these things even before I did!  I told him about a year or two ago that I was so happy that he had lived this long, because he’s a different dad now with all these “toys.”  My mother used to be the one who did most of the staying in touch with us kids.  When we called, he would pick up the phone  for a minute or two, but then go back to watching the golf match on TV, while we talked with Mom.  Technology changed all that, as did my mother’s dementia.  Now, she’s the one in the background and he’s the one who does all the communicating.  When he started emailing, years ago, that was the beginning of the new and improved Dad.  I was able to coax him into writing out most of the war stories that none of us knew before.  We not only have them in writing, but we also “interviewed” him when some of us were together, so we have him on audiotape, also.  What a treasure!  So, as much as I complain about the drawbacks of a society where being in touch all the time is the norm, it has totally changed my dad and the relationships that he has with his family.  Had he not lived this long, we never would have seen this side of him and that would have been a real pity.

   As I said in my previous post, I am blessed, and don’t I know it!!  But for those of you reading this, no matter your age, whether you still have your parent or parents or are parents yourselves, know that they or you could be gone before the end of this day.  Gather all the stories and anecdotes you can, while you still can.  If you’re the one who has the stories, share them now, while you can still remember them.  One of my mother’s favorite stories she always told us  is how she met my dad (at a dance, when she was only 15!)  She has no recollection of that now.  How strange that my dad has “improved with age”, but my mom has declined.  They both became people they were not before.  Happy/sad tears.