WHAT A SEND-OFF!

All too often, funerals, wakes and homes where grievers gather to pay their respects are sad and depressing with  lots of tears, muffled sobs and voices nearly heard above a whisper. However, there are others who choose to honor their deceased in a far different manner: with tears of laughter, funny stories and shared memories that really showcase the personality of the one who died.  I love the latter!  I leave the ceremony appreciating so much more about the person than I did when I arrived.  In fact, I so wish that I had known these things when he/she was alive!  When my father-in-law died almost 20 years ago now, my son, who was 16 at the time, was asked by his grandmother if he would like to give the eulogy.  He was more than honored to do so.  We're talking 16 here (!) and in front of a huge crowd, as his grandfather was a bigshot physician in the community.  Well, Adam blew the crowd away!  No one else could have captured his grandpa's mannerisms, expressions and personality in the way that Adam did.  Everyone laughed and nodded their heads as if to say, "Yep!  That was Henry!"  I will never forget it and hopefully, no one else will, either.
Along those same lines, the father of my Significant Other ( my "SO") died recently and the dear, sweet wife of Jack (the deceased) came up with a brilliant idea.  She asked her sons and grandsons to each wear one of Jack's ties to the funeral.  The best part was that they each got to choose one that they remembered him wearing, so there was that extra special connection.  Then, for the reception afterwards, she had wanted all four of her/their sons to wear one of the many caps without which Jack was never seen!  (They were like golfer's caps or French berets).  Then, one of Jack's daughters piggybacked on this idea and inquired as to whether all the GRANDsons could also participate, so they went into Jack's closet, and lo and behold!  He had 44 caps!!!  No one knew it, not even his wife!  They were plaid, corduroy, wool, cashmere, patterned, solid, loud, muted, everything and anything!!!  What a fabulous tribute it was to see Jack's kids and grandkids all wearing his caps.  Pat (Jack's wife), then graciously let everyone keep the tie and hat that he had chosen to wear. You should see the group pictures taken of this sight!  What a joy!  My hat -pun intended!-  is off to this amazing grieving widow who thought of such an endearing way to say good-bye.
 One last thing.  Although almost everyone was wearing black, Pat chose to wear a beautiful purple suit!  How I loved that!  So much so, that I called my kids and told them that for my funeral (hopefully, one day far, far away!!) I don't anyone wearing black!!  I love bright colors!  How flattered I would be to look out (because I truly believe I will be watching!) to see everyone I love, celebrating my life, in the way that I, myself, lived it- surrounded by color, joy and gratefulness for having had them all in my life!