THE CYCLE OF LIFE

Last weekend, my daughter and I attended a funeral for the father of one of her closest friends.  I knew him, but not well, so I surprised myself by not being able to stop crying during the service!  The tears started when his daughter, Liz, walked into the church.  Knowing that she was now an orphan, (her mother had died 11 years earlier), was really tough, especially because I still have both my parents and I'm twice her age.  Liz has a wonderful family of her own, and a sibling, who also has a wonderful family, so she is definitely not alone, but she is parentless.  And that is why the tears wouldn't stop.
   Funerals are for the living, not for the deceased.  They serve many purposes: "they help us acknowledge the reality of the death, give testimony to the life of the deceased, encourage the expression of grief, provide support to the mourners, allow for the embracing of faith and beliefs about life and death and offer continuity and hope for the living."  Alan Wolfelt, Ph.D.  A video was shown of his life, along with stories told and songs read by his grown kids, that really helped us all to get to know him better.  In my opinion, laughter is such an important part of a funeral and it was definitely in full force here.  Happy, sad tears.
   After the funeral and graveside service, my daughter and I went back to the house for the reception, where Liz's dad lived and where Liz had grown up.  What must that have been like for her and her brother to now be in that house without their dad?  We could definitely feel his presence, but still...... he wasn't there.  And what will happen from now on, when Liz and her brother and their families come to town to visit, but he's not there to greet them or to play with his grandchildren?  That will be so strange.  And so sad.  But life goes on.
   Speaking of which, after a period of time, I asked my daughter to accompany me to my Significant Other's great nephew's one year old birthday party, since she had never met alot of these relatives and just happened to be in town at this time to be able to do so.  She made me promise that we would only stay one hour, so that she could get back to her grieving friend, which was the whole purpose of her visit.  I concurred.  As we were driving to the party, we both commented on the cycle of life.  Liz's dad just left this life and immediately behind him was this adorable one year old little boy just beginning his.  Life is a cycle.  It begins and it ends and it begins again.  We have to die, so as to make room for the ones behind us to live.  But as long as we continue to talk about the deceased, speak their names, tell their stories and honor their memories, they will live on through many generations to come.