THEY'RE GRIEVING AND NO ONE DIED

Most people think of loss and grief as applying only to death or divorce, but nothing could be further from the truth!  There are NON-death losses and they can be just as devastating.  A prime example is what's going on in the Gulf of Mexico.
Every night on the news, there are different stories with different people, but all with the same result: loss of a way of life as it once was..... as it was supposed to be.  It's so painful to watch that I can't even imagine what it must be like actually living right there.
 The other night, it occurred to me how rare a sight it is to see so many grown men cry at one time. We saw it when 9/11 occurred and I'm sure there were other times, too, but they are few and far between, more the exception than the rule.  Watching mens' tears well up, while they try to quickly whisk them away, makes me want to say to all of them, "It's alright to cry.  You need to get this out.  Don't be embarrassed.  You're suffering and need the release.  Let them flow."
    When I was growing up, "big men didn't cry" and "Be a man!" were common expressions.  I'm glad that that has changed in these times, but I doubt that it will ever be as OK for a man to cry in public as it is for a woman.  Why do you think that is?
    I can tell you that we live in a society, in a culture,  where tears are seen as weakness and stoicism is seen as strength.  Even when women cry, have often have you heard them apologize?!  Why do we feel the need to say we're sorry??  Tears are a great way to release our sadness; stifling tears, stifles our sadness.  We love, we lose, we grieve, we cry. 
   In the Gulf states, GENERATIONS of family owned businesses are being destroyed right before their very eyes, while all they can do is watch.  So many non-death losses:  their way of life, financial security, physical and mental health, environmental losses, the loss of their belief systems (i.e. "we did everything right!"), the feelings of safety and security, loss of dreams....... the list is endless!
   My goal here is to make others aware that, although there may not be funerals as such, non-death losses wreak just as much havoc and turmoil in people's lives, cause just as much  grief and mourning, cause just as many tears to flow, as if someone had died.  There are no rituals for non-death losses.  Maybe it's time we started some.