NEW SLANT ON THINGS

I LOVE the field of bereavement! That probably sounds strange to most of you out there (except for the ones who are also in this field!), but it is such a gratifying, sincere and honest place to be that I feel very comfortable here. People who are grieving, strip off their masks and become vulnerable and raw- no faking anything! Is it any wonder that the song, Masquerade, from Phantom of the Opera is one of my favorites? "Masquerade, paper faces on parade. Masquerade, hide your face so the world will never find you." Not so with grievers and the dying.

I have been attending seminars and conferences on loss and grief, death and dying, for almost 20 years now. The other day, I was looking for a quote from years past, and was going through all the booklets, notes and papers I had accumulated over the years. (I have enough books to start my own library!) I kept saying to myself, "Oh, I loved that quote!" or "Oh, I need to remember that!" or "Other people need to know this!"

Therefore, I have decided to add something different to this blog, in the hopes that all who read this, will be able to apply some of these pearls of wisdom to your own lives, whenever and wherever you need them. After all, what a waste to let all these things just stay, hidden away in my cabinet, when they could be helping so many people!

Today, I simply want to impart to you things I took away from a conference, led by Deirdre Felton, many years ago. She explained the meanings of the words, bereavement, grief and mourning. Literally, bereavement means "robbed of." Interesting, huh?

Grief is the UNIQUE and INDIVIDUAL response to loss. Just as everyone has their own unique fingerprint, we all respond to loss in our own way, too; therefore, let's not be so quick to judge how others grieve. (i.e."she should be over it by now!")

On the other hand, mourning is the PUBLIC response to loss, such as funerals. Mourning has a beginning, middle and end, whereas grief can last a lifetime. Just know that grief and mourning are not the same thing. "Grievers are not always mourners!" Make sense?

Hopefully, whether you are tearfully laughing or crying, you will want to check in here often, so that we can companion on our journeys of life.