WHEN IT'S NOT NECESSARY TO APOLOGIZE

I am a huge believer in people saying, "I'm sorry."  Admitting that we did something wrong or hurtful or any of a number of other scenarios equalizes the playing field.  I love how it makes us all human, imperfect, having faults (and admitting to them), and more importantly, HUMBLE!  However, the one time I truly wish people would NOT say they're sorry is when crying in front of others!  It's like we are embarrassed.... that we are embarrassing ourselves...... and/or embarrassing our audience, however large or small.......so we apologize!!!  I've been watching alot of the tornado coverage on TV from Joplin and my heart just breaks for all the losses, primary and secondary, not to mention the massive devastation all around.  Where once these Midwesterners were just living their normal lives, going to Wal-Mart or to their high school graduation, among other things, now, there IS no Wal-Mart and there IS no high school!  When the survivors tell their stories to the newscasters, the survivors are in shock and absolutely overwhelmed; yet, when they cry (quiet) tears, we hear them apologize to the interviewers and to us, the audience.  "I'm sorry," they say as they try to hide or wipe away their tears.   Sorry???  Your lives have just been turned upside down, both literally and figuratively, and you are apologizing to US for your tears of heartache and sadness, loss and grief?  Please, people, don't apologize and don't be embarrassed for being human!!  The next time YOU start to say, "I'm sorry," when your tears fall down your face, catch yourself.   No words need be spoken.  Your tears say it all.

WHAT WILL YOU LEAVE ON YOUR HEADSTONE?

Have you even thought what you would like your headstone to say about you, other than the date you were born and the date you died?  If you want it to reflect your personality, you could copy what some others have already used on theirs:  "Gone to Wal-Mart," or from a man who had had 2 wives:  "Bury me between {Mary} and {Susan}, but closer to {Susan}!  I've already told my kids what I would like my headstone to say, although I keep changing my mind, so who knows what they'll end up with!  ha!  On a more serious note, here is what a headstone in Ireland says, "Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, Love leaves a memory no one can steal."

OPRAH'S FAVORITE GUEST

Oprah is winding down her show of 25 years and what a successful run she's had!  These last few weeks, she has been remembering lots of past guests, some of which are deceased now.  One of her, and my, favorites was an 11 year old boy, named Mattie (Matthew) Stepanak.  What an inspiring young man he was- so spiritual and wise, waaaaaay beyond his years.  He was born with a rare form of muscular dystrophy, which his mother and all 3 of his siblings also had, but he was the only sibling who survived this long. He was wheelchair bound, hooked up to oxygen and all kinds of gear, but never, NEVER was he without a smile on his face and a twinkle in his eyes.  Oprah referred to him as a poet and peacemaker, because he wrote such beautiful thoughts and poems.  On one of his last appearances on Oprah, March, 2002, he said this:  "I'm always careful to see my glass half full, because if I see my glass half empty, with no hope at all, it may as well be empty all the way."  Little Mattie made it to his 13th birthday, but unfortunately, that was his last.  When Oprah asked Mattie's mother last week, 9 years after Mattie had died, what his last words were, his mother, also wheelchair bound and hooked up to breathing paraphernalia, replied:  "24 hours before he died, he said, 'Choose to inhale.  Do not breathe simply to exist.' "  Let this be a lesson to us all, from a very wise, little man, who was even philosophizing on his deathbed!  I hope he is running with the angels.

WHY ARE WE SO JUDGMENTAL?

I wish I could remember where I read this, but even thought I don't, what I do remember reading from this book was this statement:  most of the conversations we have with one another involve judgments of one kind or another.  This isn't intentional, but it happens, nevertheless.
   It made me think of how especially judgmental we are when it comes to grief.  We think WE know how long others should grieve, for whom they should grieve and how they should grieve.  We even try to compare our losses with one another:  "My aunt died, but her child died," or "My  dad died.  How dare she compare her parents' divorce to that!"
  We MUST stop doing this to those we love!  Every grief is unique to each and every individual.  We have no idea what that person meant to him/her who is grieving, we do not know the in's and out's of their relationship and we certainly don't have the same personality and coping skills as the one who is grieving.  Let's cut everyone a little slack. The next time you begin to judge, either internally or externally, pause, reflect and try to replace "shoot from the hip" judgments with  well thought out statements of tolerance and compassion.

YESTERDAY, TODAY AND TOMORROW

"Dream as if you'll live forever.  Live as if you'll die today."  James Dean

TWO AS ONE

"Joy and sorrow are inseparable.....together they come, and when one sits alone with you.....remember that the other is asleep upon your bed."
Kahlil Gibran

RAINBOWS

"The soul would have no rainbow had the eye no tear."  Anonymous