"LIFE ENDS AT DEATH AND NOT A MOMENT BEFORE"

I am fortunate enough to still have both my parents- alive and well- at the ages of 88 and 93.  I know that I am in the minority, but it's a good minority in which to be a member!  However, my siblings and I know that the time will come, probably sooner rather than later, that we have to be prepared.  It's quite a juggling act, both emotionally and mentally, to ask our parents specific questions as to their wishes should they become incompacitated and yet, not to convey the idea that we think they are close to dying!  I cannot even imagine what it must be like to be 93 years of age and know that you're lucky if you live another 7 years!
The key here is to accept the fact that we cannot prevent death and the pain that it causes, but we can make the experience better, for both the survivors and the dying.  And that means actually planning for it!
   "The dying want to be treated as living human beings until the moment they die. But often, we 'bury them alive' by thinking of them as their diseases, by acting as if they are incapable of making their own decisions, by negating their opinions, by overlooking their desires, by withholding information from them, and by omitting them from conversations.  Without realizing we are doing so, we rob them of their dignity.  While we should never deny that the dying are dying, we should also never treat them as broken or no longer whole.  Despite their illnesses, they are still whole human beings.
When our loved ones first become sick, it is easy to see them as being whole people with a little bit of disease.  As the illness progresses, however, our loved one seems to become less of a person and more of the disease.  We begin to have difficulty seeing the whole individual.  Seeing beyond the illnesses is one of the most meaningful gifts we can give them.  It is a greater gift to ourselves."  David Kessler
Probably most of us look in the mirror and wonder who that older person is looking back at us, because we still see ourselves as young and vibrant.  Well, the same holds true of those who are dying.  We need to remember that the sick and/or dying were once young, full of hopes and dreams and life.  That is who they still are, deep inside.  Neither age nor disease has taken that away........and we shouldn't either.