So why sad tears at the same event? Well, we, the parents of the bride, are divorced... BUT we're still good buds......AND we've added other loving partners and families into our lives.....BUT we still feel allegiance to the original family unit.....AND we made this incredible daughter together, 30 plus years ago....BUT when incredible child #2, Adam, and I stood there watching Jami and her dad dance, (to one of my favorite songs and they didn't even know it!) it was just the 4 of us as a unit again........only we aren't.......BUT that's OK, because the "original" group has only grown stronger since the divorce! Go figure!! Not only were we all together for such a happy and momentous event but, more importantly, we were all HAPPY to be celebrating together!! I've been to weddings where the parents of the bride or groom were divorced and let's just say, the word "happy" would, and could, never be applied!
So, other reasons for tears at this wedding in particular or others, in general? Well, my daughter came attached now! She had a husband! And we had a son-in-law! A new family constellation......again! A good change, but a big change, nevertheless. Know this: all change (good or bad) involves loss and all loss involves change!! We mourn what used to be.
Another difficult realization and reason for tears: where did the years go???? Wasn't I just up there, myself, exchanging MY vows, standing next to MY new husband with all of our hopes and dreams for OUR future? I'll bet so many other parents feel this way, too.
And talk about time passing: wasn't Jami just going off to preschool with that huge nametag (almost as big as she was!) around her neck?? (which I still have!) Where oh where did HER childhood go?????
So, yes, tears are shed for lots of reasons at weddings, of which these are just a few. It's not a bad thing. Heck! We're overjoyed!! These are happy, sad tears!
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geez mom, i'm tearing up just reading this! happy, sad, all of the above! you're right..it was an emotional weekend for oh so many reasons. i felt so exhausted by the end! it was an amazing celebration of life and love, what is, what was, and what will be. for everyone.
ReplyDeletei'm so happy you've started this new blog! you have so much knowledge, insight, and just plain heart. yay.
WOW OH WOW OH WOW! Thank you sooooooooo much for your kindest of words and sentiments!!!! WOW!! "A celebration of life and love, what is, what was and what will be." THAT brought tears to MY eyes!! Thank you!!! And thank you even more for being my daughter!!!!!
ReplyDeletelove you!
you guys are a couple of saps. love the post ma, and love you!!! (you too tre styles)
ReplyDeleteAnd I too loved the post JoA! It is all very emotional these days and those days and for sure, the days yet to come. Happy and sad tears - hell I remember when I was on antidepressants and there were NO tears! Now that is weird!
ReplyDeleteI agree, tears are happy and sad. Sometimes both at the same time. Having been there at my daughters weddings after a divorce and then the death of their dad there were many happy/sad tears. Now there are grandbabies and they bring tears of joy and sometimes of exhaustion! But that is life and where would we be without all of our tears.
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